slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”


twotommyolivers:

Some context: entering this season, no woman had completed a televised course in either Japanese or American Ninja Warriors. I’d also argue that ANW’s qualifying courses are harder than any Stage 1 course on either.




riyoka:

if u ask me to go to the park and just swing on swings with u there is 98% chance i will say yes and swing for 5 hours do not test me








donutsornonuts:

We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn’t stay alive.